Stopping stress is not easy. Are you wondering how to overcome stress? First of all, read the 14 steps quietly. Let yourself be immersed in the content, without forcing yourself. Then, ask yourself if you REALLY want to get out of stress hell. Does this question seem strange to you? You’re thinking “what the heck, of course I want to get out of it” and yet … Many people who ask themselves how not to stress are actually not ready to move forward.
Are you ready to take a chance?
Are you ready to discover the person behind the mask of stress?
Stress is often like second nature and facing our fears is not always a journey we embark on happily.
My advice as a former stressor is to do these exercises step by step. However, if you prefer to do them in your own order, go ahead. Do all the steps, you’ll be really surprised at the results.
If you don’t feel like doing any of them, bad news is that this step is really essential for you.
STEP 1: Recognize that you are stressed
This sounds obvious, but believe me, many people completely refuse to acknowledge that they are stressed about anything. They think they are strong or want to be strong, and by not admitting that they are stressed, they get even deeper into their stress. (I refused for years to admit that I had a problem). Overcoming stress definitely requires awareness.
STEP 2: What type of stress are you dealing with?
– Is it stress that is based on something concrete? For example
– Rumors from your company say that there will be layoffs and you are stressed out because you are afraid of being part of the cart. But is the company really in trouble or are these rumors unfounded?
– You’re afraid to go get your test results and you’re stressed out about getting an ulcer. However, you have constant stomach cramps. “I’m stressing and I’m afraid my stress is causing stress!”
– Is it anticipatory stress? You’re wondering what anticipatory stress is. Well, it’s any time you stress yourself out and your sentence starts with IF… That is, any time you project yourself into the future imagining the obviously negative outcome of an event or action that is supposed to happen.
– If I fail my driver’s test …
– If I tell my husband that …
– If I go to get my x-rays and they find out…
Wondering how to stop stressing over nothing? Read on!
Step 3: Identify the fear behind the stress
Fear of not being good enough, fear of being looked at by others, fear of illness, fear of being alone, fear of not having enough money, fear of being judged, abandoned, rejected, fear of being humiliated, fear of being laughed at, fear of asserting yourself, etc.
Honestly, recognize what makes you anxious:
– I’m afraid of losing my job, not finding another one, and being left without money.”
– If I tell my wife I don’t want to go to X, I’m afraid she’ll cancel dinner with my CEO
– If I fail my high school diploma, I am afraid that my parents will deprive me of a vacation with my friends.
– If I tell Julia I’m not going to the movies, she’ll get angry
Verbalizing fear is a liberating act that allows you to overcome your stress in the long run
“The best way to eradicate a fear is to face it. Aboriginal proverb.
STEP 4: Once you have identified the fear ask yourself: Is it an ACTUAL fear or an IMAGINARY fear?
In other words, is it a fear that is based on something concrete or is it an anticipatory fear?
Many people wonder how to stop stressing over nothing…
– Will your wife really cancel dinner with your CEO if you refuse to go to X?
– Will your parents really deprive you of a vacation with your friends if you fail your exams?
– Will Josh get angry if you cancel your movie date?
“I’m an old man and I’ve had a lot of worries, but most of them were never there.” – Mark Twain
STEP 5: Consider the risk – or the worst – that can happen to you if your fear comes true
– If I file for divorce, I may only be able to see my children every two weeks since my wife has already threatened me with this
– If I’m on the layoff wagon, will I find another job?
Again, be very honest with yourself, really follow through on what you are afraid of
STEP 6: Are you willing to accept the risk? or the worst
– “If I file for divorce, am I willing to see my children only every two weeks?
– “If my boss tells me to look for another job, am I willing to be unemployed?”
– If the doctor tells me I have cancer, what will I do?
“Accept what is happening. That’s the first step in dealing with the consequences of misfortune. – William James
7th STEP: Once I accept the worst and the risks, what actions can I take to find solutions?
– No, there is no reason why I should only see my children every 15 days and I will fight for joint custody.
– If my boss tells me to look for another job, no problem, I have my priorities and I am sure I will find another job?
– If the doctor tells me I have cancer, I will fight it head on and if others have recovered, why not me?
Step 8: Ask yourself: What can I learn from this experience?
– Well, if I miss an important exam for my future, my parents can deprive me of a vacation, but it’s true that I could have worked a little harder
– Of course it’s not going to be easy to fight with this nasty disease but it’s true that there were a lot of things wrong in my life. I’m going to start by taking care of myself…
STEP 9 – Control your thoughts, be positive
Be convinced that your life is a reflection of your thoughts. If all you think about is illness, don’t be surprised if you get one. When you spend your time in fear of running out of money, don’t be surprised if you are constantly forced to count your money. If you’re afraid of being fired, don’t be surprised if you’re one of the people laid off. And so on.
– Surround yourself with optimistic, happy people,
– Avoid gossip like the plague,
– Repeat only positive things about your colleagues,
– Don’t listen to every rumor that comes along,
– As soon as you catch yourself RUMINING and STRESSING, immediately connect to your most beautiful memory (see yourself, feel yourself and hear yourself living this wonderful memory)
– Be able to laugh at yourself
– Take stock of what you have rather than highlighting what you lack
– Never watch the news, it is a stress trap
– Live one day at a time, it’s easier
– Take it one step at a time and congratulate yourself on your progress every day
– Watch funny movies
Step 10: Find a passion
Learn computers, gardening, astrology, knitting, photography. Be passionate about something or do volunteer work.
As James Mursell, professor of education at Columbia University, said, “It’s not when you’re doing something that you’re likely to be stressed, but when you’ve finished your work and come home. So, occupy your mind with something you are passionate about. Have you noticed how quickly time passes when we are in love. Passion keeps us totally occupied, we only think about him or her. So look for something you can be passionate about and you will stop thinking about your worries
Participate in humanitarian work. Seeing the worries of others will often put your own worries into perspective.
“I’m stressed all the time but in the end, my situation is much more comfortable than so-and-so’s.”
STEP 11: Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill
– Is it really wise to stress yourself out and make yourself sick because you broke your heel?
– Is it really worth stressing out because you missed your son’s birthday cake?
– Is it worth stressing out because you just missed the subway and are running late?
STEP 12: BREATHE, BREATHE and RELAX
Whether you are at work, at home or anywhere else, STOP at the first sign of stress and BREATHE
Count from 5 to 1 only on the exhalation and by fixing yourself on your breathing. If this is not enough, start again from 10 to 1. Do this exercise as often as possible. If any distracting thoughts come up, let them pass and start counting again. Eventually put your hands on your belly and feel your breath if it is easier for you.
STEP 13: Take stock of all your qualities
It is also important to list the subjects you are good at. Topics that will allow you to come across as bright, curious, interesting and interested. The best thing to do is to get the person you are talking to to talk about this subject and to casually add two or three interesting things to what they say.
But be careful not to be overconfident: modesty is always sexier than an ego that crushes everything in its path. Your dining companion says something stupid? Pretend you didn’t hear it. And above all, smile! It’s the first quality.
STEP 14: Keep a journal
This “worry journal” – as my daughter calls it – holds the thoughts that trouble you. Most people write down their worries before they go to bed to clear their minds. This makes your worries seem less serious. It’s better to get your thoughts out than to dwell on them. You can also look back on your day and write in your journal the things you enjoyed doing or the things you are grateful for. This can help you focus on the positive aspects of your life. Even the bad days have their little joys.
All of these tips have one thing in common: they will help you step back and redirect your thoughts. Using all or some of these tips in your daily life can prevent stress from building up and help you face challenges with more confidence.