HOW TO LIVE ALONE AND BE HAPPY ON A DAILY BASIS IN 12 STEPS
Most people naively believe that happiness is to be sought outside of oneself, through a love relationship, various entertainments (travel, sports, going out, etc.), through the acquisition of material goods, etc.
Although getting all these things can make you momentarily happy, they are ephemeral, because they are state inducers. You will be satisfied and proud of yourself for having acquired all these things, but getting these things only temporarily changes your state of being. You will get used to having all these things and you will return to your original state of being, to your malaise.
So, how do you manage to live alone and be happy about it? How do you learn to be self-sufficient and accept your own company? Here are the steps to feel better about being alone and being happy alone.
12 keys to be happy with yourself
1. HAPPINESS COMES FROM ONESELF
Happiness should not depend on anyone but oneself. You must not need others to be happy, otherwise, you will never achieve happiness, or not in the long run. To begin to be happy alone, we must understand that we can be self-sufficient and for this, we must find our happiness in the simple things of everyday life: for example, small basic activities such as shopping, cleaning with music, cooking with singing, decorating, etc. For example, I love shopping, really my happiness of the week!
2. SELF-KNOWLEDGE MAKES IT POSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY ALONE
In order to be happy alone, one must know oneself properly, love oneself and know one’s own tastes. For this, nothing is better than taking time for oneself. When we are always surrounded, there is no time for ourselves. To get to know yourself, you need to be alone from time to time. Thanks to this, you will know what you like to do, what you like to watch, the activity you like to do, etc.
3. CREATING A HOME IN YOUR OWN IMAGE
To be happy alone, we must create a space of our own in which we feel good, rested and relaxed. Taking the time to arrange your space is very important to feel at home. Decoration and small objects in your home may seem futile, but are ultimately very important to create the right atmosphere for you. By setting up your decoration, it will be much easier to be happy and peaceful in your own home.
4. ACCEPTANCE OF SILENCE TO BE HAPPY ALONE
To be alone is potentially spending one’s daily life at home in silence. It is therefore necessary to learn to love silence which allows you to finally do many things. First of all, silence allows you to refocus on yourself and finally get to know yourself. It can be very difficult to be alone with oneself in the midst of silence.
Why is this? Because to be alone in silence is to be face to face with oneself and that can be difficult to manage. Being alone in silence also allows you to relax, to rest your brain, to empty yourself inside to recharge your batteries. We don’t always need music, talking to people, or watching a movie to not be in silence: we can also enjoy the silence.
5. DAILY FREEDOM TO BE HAPPY ALONE
To be happy being alone, you have to realize that being alone is being free. Free to do what we want, when we want, where we want. If you feel like sleeping late or cooking sooner or later, you are free to do so without disturbing anyone. By being alone, we don’t depend on anyone to do what we want. And this is also one of the keys to happiness: being free every day and living the life you want to live.
6. OPENNESS TO THE WORLD, TO OTHERS
Being alone on a daily basis allows you to open up to others, because it is not possible to lock yourself into your comfort zone, which can sometimes be your loved ones. Being alone makes it possible to open up to others and therefore to be happy. I totally experienced this when I traveled alone, which totally took me out of my comfort zone, but allowed me to open up to others and made me happier than I ever was.
7. THE DEFINITION OF ONE’S LIFE PROJECT, ONE’S GOALS
Being alone also allows us to define our lifeline, which is what we really want. Setting goals and life projects is an aspect that allows us to move forward and be happy in our daily lives. Indeed, not knowing which direction to take can be difficult to live with on a daily basis. Take a few minutes alone with yourself and think about your life projects. You can set yourself life goals with a vision board if it is easier for you.
8. THE POSITIVE SIDE TO BE FOUND IN YOUR LOVED ONES
To be happy alone, you need a healthy relationship with your loved ones. Get toxic relationships out of your life that ultimately won’t make you happy on a daily basis and won’t allow you to enjoy your own company. You must also get out of your life the negative people, who see everything black and who do not know how to appreciate small joys.
Also get out of your life the people who never know how to congratulate and compliment you. Your loved ones are supposed to be people who are there for you, who give you support and, above all, positive things in your life. Finally, you should not need people to be happy, but they should bring you more in your life and only positive things, not less.
Above all, you must stop feeling useful only by being surrounded by people. Also, we must stop believing that we are better off with others and that being alone is necessarily negative. It’s totally the opposite. Being alone is a chance. Being happy alone is, for me, the key to a peaceful life.
9. Dare to face solitude
Enter into introspection and learn to love your company, because you won’t be able to run away from yourself indefinitely. You are stuck with yourself until you die. Sometimes, for fear of being alone, you will turn into your partner’s ideal companion, denying who you really are so you don’t lose him or her, and you will do everything you can to meet his or her needs.
As you have understood, there are many external pressures that will push you to forget what you really want and what you want to become. Learn to submit only to your inner pressure. If there is one person, you absolutely must make happy and satisfy. It is yourself. In order to do this, you have to free yourself from social pressure.
If by chance you really know what you want in life, who you are, and what you are worth, no one will ever be able to divert you from your quest, because your self-esteem will be strong enough to fight any storm.
10. Don’t have expectations
When we have expectations about the future, we tend to stick to the slightest change in plans. Life is not a quiet river. Everything changes, everything moves, nothing is predictable. Accepting it is the best way to live events well.
Think about the present moment, don’t wonder what will be done tomorrow. Follow the current, adapt, be flexible, don’t see changes in plans as a failure but as a way to bounce back and embrace a new route.
This way of moving forward does not prevent you from having goals, but keep in mind that goals are not meant to be absolutely achieved, but to give you a direction.
Don’t have expectations about your relationships, whether family, friends or lovers, accept people as they are, and if the relationship doesn’t suit you or no longer suits you, be free to end it or to distance yourself from it.
However, this does not stop you from thinking about what you want, what you accept and what you don’t, so that you can immediately identify a situation or relationship that is not right for you and not be afraid to end it.
You can control what you decide for your own life, but you cannot control it for others.
11. Don’t compare yourself
There’s always a prettier girl, a blonder couple, a more popular person, greener grass next door, a guy with a bigger car, there’s always someone who is/is more than you, it’s always going to be like that.
Instead of comparing yourself and envying what others are/have, ask yourself what, makes you happy, see the things you do well, rejoice in what you have, set your own goals without taking others as a reference point, and be happy for others who are happy.
Beware of appearances on social networks. In our society of appearances, public people know that they sell better if they look happy and fulfilled, unreachable. Keep in mind that this is only one facet of these people’s lives, controlled, smoothed, filtered, and not a summary of real life.
If social networks are hurting you, step back as soon as necessary and sort through the accounts you follow. Similarly, most people will not tell you what is wrong in their lives, but rather tend to talk about things they are proud and happy about, sometimes to maintain the envy of their interlocutors: always be ready to put things into perspective!
12. Gather the wealth, not the material
Store up the good times, fruitful relationships, enriching discussions, knowledge, travel, enjoy a massage, devour the culture, create memories. Enjoy the present moment without living in the past, but also without projecting yourself into the future.
Accept that some things are today and may not be tomorrow, so enjoy the moment in the here and now, and be ready to move on to a different situation at any time.
Don’t try to distract yourself or make up for a lack with objects. Buying material does not enrich us. The material only gives us a temporary pseudo satisfaction, only to plunge us back into the lack soon afterward.